Fixated not with the TARGET, but for the OBJECTIVE

I invited a family friend over for a dinner as a welcome gesture for his transfer. As a self-proclaimed DECENT home cook, I thought I’ll do the cooking myself. Like every professional, my prowl for the game starts with cerebral dimensioning. I start with a mental snapshot of what I’m going to cook, which is influenced by two things. First, those cook shows I’ve recently watched and secondly ingredients which are available in my house and the nearby vegetable market. My freezer has a nice block of pork thigh which was gifted and so the only thing left out was a new impressive flavor. The other day, I breezed past fresh gingers with green shoots in the market, so picture of pork in a sauce of tender ginger with green shoots flashed back and I thought that has to be the winner recipe.

I went to the nearby vegetable market to get those tender ginger with long green shoots. The market is spread across three blocks and all blocks sell almost similar types but with slight variations. The first one has more commercial stuffs and the middle has pedestrian non-vegetarians (chicken, fish & mutton) and the last one has more leaves & herbs. As I stroll around, I could not find a single strand in the first block but the hope was still one. Hope started to diminish a bit when the second block gave me the same result and by the time I walk passed the third block, shoots of disappointments started over flowing as I could not get what I was looking for. My face started to wrinkle and so was my mood, but then the invitation was confirmed hence there was no way of backing out atleats for the sake of self-esteem. So, I quickly reorganized my thoughts for some alternative. As I started buying those new set of recipes, a sense of composure started to surface. I quickly got all the stuffs I needed and hurried back to my house. As I walk back in my hasty little steps, some lateral views struck me (happens quite often) … “Fixated not with the target, BUT for the objective”

Thought it’s an outcome of some trivial cooking episode but I thought it connects well to our day-to-day lives in a large way. Be it at work place or any other space, one tends to define success basis realization of certain specific task or so call “targets”. If we don’t nail that specific task or targets we tend to assume we failed. And this feeling of failure is one debilitating heck that it starts to build negative halo and makes us believe that we are much lower than what we are really capable of.

Now think about the following:

  1. Your mom bought you a micromax canvas as your first smartphone after clearing your class XII, but you were hoping for a samsung galaxy…
  2. Despite having the necessary marks in Class XII, somewhere you could not get a seat in St. Stephen, but you got selected in all other reputed colleges…
  3. After saving up enough money for buying a flat, unfortunately that particular apartments just got sold off, but you get a good deal from a comparable builder in a comparable society…

I know those above instances sounds unrelastic melodrama!!! Nevertheless, i’m sure you would have come across similar instaces with lesser melodram. And if you continue whining and feel a loser, then you are simply cooking a recepie for self-destruction. I understand there may be some momentary sense of disappointment as you didn’t get the exact replica of what you have in mind, but the fact is that you have achieved the bigger objective, owning a nice smartphone phone or being part of reputed college or owning a nice flat. So what is there so much to fuss if you don’t get those replica you have created inside your head…Isn’t the objective lager than the target…

Everything on this earth is a function of TIME & CHANGE and hence nothing remains permanent. Therefore getting fixated with specifics will only makes you miserable and disappointed. As long as you have the resource, there are equally good alternative which can give you similar sense of achievement. An individual can tread only one road at a time and to think that one road is the best among all others, when you have not experienced the rest, is just a rustic MYOPIA.

What makes Amrish Puri utter those words ‘Ja Simran Ja’ in Dilwale Dhulhania Le Jayge? it is that same realization that unless the objective is met, achieving the target is unworthy. Something like, Mugambo finally realized that his objective of getting Simran married was to make her happy and not having a son-in-law of his choice.

As for the pork dish, I chose a fresh turmeric & ginner sauce with mountain herbs. It was aromatic and succulent and so was the evening.


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